Archive for January 3rd, 2010




I remember the first time I saw you
I recall the first time we spoke
I relish the first laugh together
And I relive the first pangs of pain

I know that you are not mine
But your memories will always be mine
I know that I can never hold you
But I can hold on to your memories for ever

Every second while I am awake and
Every dream while I am sleeping
Every thought that comes to my mind
The only thing I see is you and you alone

Standing here in the middle of a wild rain
Drenched in the down pour of your memories, I Stand
Your thoughts flash across the sky like a lightning
Leaving behind a darkness hard to comprehend

Swept away in the current of old times
Caught in a whirlpool of your words
I keep looking around myself but
I dont seem to find where I am

Never did I expect to find you
Never did I expect to lose you
Never will I regret my actions
And Never will I lose your memoria

I know that this kills me from inside
I know that there is no end to this
I know this is all but painful
But I dont have the power to let you go

Never will I have the power to let you go




Guardian Angel

Guardian Angel

Aint gonna ask you for your company
Aint gonna ask for your love
Aint gonna ask for hard Promises
All that I will ever ask you is

When you are feeling sad
When you are feeling down
When all hopes are lost and
When you dont have nothing more to lose

Can I be your Guardian Angel
Can I hold you under my wings and
Protect you from the world outside
Always there in your hours of distress

Call me baby, And I can burn my wings
If I could be your angel in distress
Wish for me baby, And I can lose my place in heaven
If I could be your angel on your bad days

I will be your protective Angel, babygal
I will take your pains for you, babygal
I will take on the world for you babygal
Just wish for me , Just wish for me

Let me be your Angel
Let me be your Angel


The Light

The light

Down on spirit and done with life , too tired for anything but death
On the ground with dust in my face, Beaten in love, Beaten in life
Out on my last breath and closing my eyes for one last time
Savouring the last moments with the world that crushed me

Tired to think of anything and waiting for the final blow
My life scrolls past me and all I can remember are only failures
I fought and toiled and shed blood only to embrace the waiting defeat
With a beaten heart and a gloomy eye, all I see is only darkness

A Darkness so eager to destroy whatever hope that is left with me 
I am afraid to close my eyes fearing the darkness that is waiting
Just when I am ready to give up on myself, I sense a speck
A ray of light cutting the darkness around, a hand from heaven

A hand trying to lift me from the depths of darkness I was destined to
Engulfed by a light so unreal but familiar and comforting
I see Faces drift before me, faces so very dear and friendly
And I remember the smiles, the laughs, the promises and my life

A life I shared with those faces , a life made happy by those faces
A wonderful life so easily forgotten , a life worth living for
And the light keeps getting stronger, its brilliance defeating the darkness
And the light shows me the life i missed , the light gives me the life i wished

I will be beaten again , I will bite the dust again and maybe again
But I know it will be there , the light that gives me hope
The light that makes life worth living for, a life so special
The light that shows me the faces, the faces which love me


Stupid Girl

Stupid Girl

On an endless search for the unknown world
You keep running, running around for fool’s gold
With eyes shut on an unknown road leading nowhere
Your eyes are blind towards everything good on the way

Stupid Girl
Why dont you open your eyes
And see the world waiting for you

Caught in your beautiful world of self deceit
you keep dreaming, dreaming for the perfect one
With your heart locked in the box of your dreams
But nothing is perfect in this world my dear

Stupid Girl
Why dont you start to wake up
And go for what is more real

Following your thoughts on an endless maze
YOu keep thinking you took the right turn
But its only taking you further , further
Away from the door to YOur real life

Stupid Girl
Why dont you stop thinking long and hard and
Follow your heart just this once

You go around thinking every second is yours
But before you blink it could all be over baby
Why dont you come to me before its late
Before its too late for anything at all

I can wait for you till the end of my time
But it will still be you who is
The Stupid Girl

My Stupid Girl


Princess of the Night

One more puzzle…

Princess of the Night

I can ignore the world’s most prettiest girls
But can I ever resist the mildest of your gazes
I can stay clear from everything enticing
But can I ever desist from a hug this loving

There are girls that dont deserve any of my time
But you are one girl who will always be my prime
All the things attractive will never be a big test
But missing you one night could take away my Rest

Coz you are my princess of the Night
Ignoring you Will take a lot of my might

I can win each day and become a superstar
But without you around, I can’t go very far
Everything in the world, I can try and get it done
But losing you forever is certainly no fun

You always make my night through your colorful dream
But there are also some days when you make me scream
Without you around I dont think I have a life
You are somebody thats closest to being my wife

Coz you are my princess of the Night
In a life sans you, I can never be allrite


Yeah, nobody can live without sleep :)




Might lose this smile of yours as the years wane
Would always long for this touch so wonderful
Every passing second might take you further away
And life might rob me off everything about you

But life can never take this wonderful feeling
This precious little feeling so mysterious
Something fate can never understand to play with
A feeling so unique ,it can only be mine

Could never believe it when it happened first
That this feeling could so easily bring us together
Every mile between us will fade in a second
And every barrier between our hearts can melt away

Everything can be made real, if your heart wishes
Every hurt and every pain could be a pleasure
And this feeling of mine can make it all possible
Can get me what all this praying couldnt get

Getting me close to you, even if only through pain
Only through pain but pain can be addictive too
After all happiness is all but shortlived
And Pain is what is going to be real and eternal

If you ever get hurt, and dont see any blood
Dont wonder, Just remember that I bled instead
And if you dont feel any pain, dont thank God
Coz its not God but me who took your pain away

And if I ever pray again,I would just wish for this pain
This sweet pain reminding me that I am still hanging on
Still there for you through it all, even if you cant see me
This life might not,but this pain will still unite us

So think of me when you feel bad, coz I can take a share
This sense of mine will give me a share even if you dont
And be sure that I am with you while you go through this
Sharing this guiltless pain, this sweet Stigmata


Where did I lose you

This one is a puzzle,

Takea  guess at what I am writing about,  I have given the answer and the reason at the end.
Where did i lose you

Born with me, you were my twin brother, my identity
You became bigger and stronger as I grew along
You were a fire which fuelled me all my life
YOu were the one who made me what I am today

All things in the world,I can easily lose and forget
But losing you will break me from inside, cripple my mind
Coz your my heart, the one who shaped my soul
And without you I am nothing more than skin and bones

And I always thought I would defend you with my life
Always thought you would be the last thing i could lose
I can die of pain and die of hunger but always think that
You will be the one with me even in my dying breath

But these days I feel lonely and lost and l
I dont sense that fire which comforted me from inside
I dont feel my blood brother along when I walk and
I take a look back and you are not there anymore

Dont know where I lost you and dont know if Ill find you
And I dont feel good without that familiar feeling
I miss your comfort in these times of depression
Coz you made me proud even in my darkest of hours

Wherever you are, just come out of that closet of yours
Coz I want that high when I am walking, I want it back
I wanna keep my head up and above, just the way it was
So come back brother, I need you now more than ever.


I was beginning to feel that I am nothing more than a compromise

So the song above was written about something I lost to become somebody liked…

But even the compromise didnt work, I only ended up losing something

That I was proud of even at the times I have lost, my Pride


The Happy Song

Keep writing sad songs loverboy

Nothing is gonna change anything

When reality is a bitch, why dont you run away from it

And you did try to fool reality once

Escaped from the familiar path to take the road not taken

But reality had a way of getting back , even in your fantasies….

Isnt it, the happy song …

The Happy Song

Hand in hand, on this lonely stretch of beach
With nobody to watch but for sweet mother nature
We walk miles, miles without a word spoken
And my eyes come looking for yours every second

The world stays silent as our hearts speak
Speak in unison about this wonderful life
While the moon watches from the sky above
Pouring its milky light on this loving couple

And I keep looking below and keep wishing, If I could
Be one those waves caressing your beautiful feet
Only to remember that the waves have only tonight
While I have you for the rest of my life

With each other for comfort on this cold night
We keep walking, walking our way to heaven
As the birds keep singing about the two of us
An Ode to this love , to this never ending love

And as the dawn breaks across the silver sky
My eyes open to see the first ray of the golden sun
To enjoy this moment of heavenly beauty together
My hands come searching for yours

and dont find it

And I look around only to find myself all alone
With the Pen in my hand and notebook in front
Sitting in my chair with the night lamp on
Alone in this house with only your memories for company

May be my eyes were too tired of crying last night
And when my eyes went to sleep, my heart escaped
To run free on paper with nobody to watch for
And write a dream on paper about you and me together

Since the only thing I knew was to cry on this notebook
With words pouring out in torrents from my bleeding heart
I went on writing more of these sad songs about our lost life
And kept wishing If you could give me a chance for a happy song

And knew this wish for a happy song will never be fulfilled
As long this needle of reality keeps pricking at me
Reminding me that I can never write a happy song without you
And so my heart fooled my mind just this one time

To write a Happy song

To write about a dream thats not mine

And this will be my happy song

My only happy song…



Duel With God

Who to blame when you have blamed everybody else,

Who to blame when you have lost the last thing in your possession,

Your Faith,
Duel with God

Guess you are out there, somewhere
Hidden in the clouds beyond our reach
Glorified and dignified , Oh so great
A Glorified and Dignified Coward

Afraid to come out in public, afraid of who
Afraid of your own creations, afraid of your own neglections

Guess you are out there, somewhere
If you are what you are, Grant me
One Wish, A duel, you and me , till death
A Duel i wont win, But will make you pay

Let the stars be the spectators
We will be the gladiators, try it atleast once
You may end up liking it
A fight to death, fight to my death yeah

Afraid to come out and fight
Afraid of your own creations, afraid of your own defeat

People say you test good people
But always watch for them, Yes
You have watched for me
But you have also failed me, failed me with my life

Gone are days when I hoped for miracles
Gone are the days when I needed good things from you
All I need now is some rest and some peace
Grant me my wish, my death

Afraid to grant my wish
Afraid of losing your little play thing, who will entertain you then

Havent lost the hope for the final fight
The day of Armageddon, You and Me
A fight to death, death for me
Create a new me afterwards, You will like it



This one is a fav among the few I have written… And its about Hope

Who says Hope is a good thing,

Maybe it is, but every second spent hoping

Can prevent you from moving on, thats all

So, here is the song in video format


And here comes the text version


Tears can stay back and get trapped inside my eyes
My Wishes can become unheard echoes inside my mind
All the dreams about you can haunt me forever in my sleep
And my life may drain out just by bleeding love

All my Emotions can be orphans searching for love
My eyes always waiting for the never rising sunshine
All these poems of mine may become muted monologues
And this love may take its final sleep buried in my heart

Every second without you I may regret till eternity
Every step I take, I may miss you walking beside me
Every time I fall, I may wait for your helping hands
And every time I open my eyes, I may search for you

I might lay my head on this bed of thorns everynight
And wake up in the morning just to walk on them again
And do this everyday and never get tired of this pain
But nothing in the world is worser than this Hope of mine

This glitter of light that magnifies the darkess outside
Gives a short lived comfort which can only make me numb when gone
Like a dying candle burning bright before going down, Hope
Flares my fiery spirits only to douse them with cold water

Gives me all the reasons to keep hoping till eternity
Only waiting in the end to crush them all to dust
Like a firefly who likes the candle which takes its life
I keep coming back to where it all started again

Hoping to do this all one last time before I let go
Only that I can never stop doing this till I get you
And I take one more step towards the slow death that awaits
Simply because I am willing and dont have anything better

But for this hope nothing is gonna keep me alive
I might never see the dawn but I wont stop now
I might fight a losing battle against your choices
But this Hope will still keep you close to my heart

And I will go on…

I will go on…

I cant let this Hope die…

I wont let my Hope die…

January 2010



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